And it's not selfish to feel that way (in a negative sense). If the relationship is mutual then it's mutual. If it isn't then it's not. That should be respected both ways. And when judging morality we look at actions, not thoughts and feelings.
We hold pedophiles to such an impossible standard that even when their behaviour is demonstrably beneficent they still look evil. As long as that is the case, it's your right to listen to HER over THEM.
And a good person listening to HER will do no harm. A good person listening to THEM, on the other hand....