What is Sex?

Hi MM,

First, let me thank you for being here. It is somewhat of a rarity to have a non pedo join us in a civil conversation about who we are and topics like childhood sexuality, which, naturally, interests us.

You ask when are children ready for sex? I know it is not usually good to answer a question with a question, but, since I intend to answer both your question and my own, I will do so anyway.

My answer to your question is dependant on the answer to mine: "What is sex?" If you are speaking strictly of sexual intercourse, then I agree with you that prepubescent children are not physiologically ready to do that with an adult. Very simply put, the vaginal canal is not developed enough for that act to be done without serious risk of harm. In addition, there have been studies done which indicate that girls who have experienced intercourse before puberty are at a greater risk of developing cervical cancer later on in life. I don't think a Child Lover would want to put a little girl at risk for a few moments of pleasure. I certainly would not.

Intercourse is not the only form of sex however. With many Child Lovers, the sexual activities in which they would engage with their young friends would be very similar to what the children do now among their peers. Children have played, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" for as long as society has made the wearing of clothing mandatory. They also masturbate, both themselves and each other, and, when the opportunity presents itself, will attempt to sneak a furtive little peek at both naked adults and other children, perhaps when they are in the shower or changing clothes. Older children play games such as Strip Poker and Truth or Dare.

If we take sex within these contexts, then children are ready for it long before puberty. The reason many people do not remember having an interest in matters sexual before 13 (or about the age of puberty) is that they have been de-sexualized from the time they were toddlers and first discovered that rubbing the genitals feels good. Almost no other infraction that a child can commit will bring the extreme visceral response from parents and/or other caregivers as will ANY type of sex play. The taboo, and its emotional consequences, are so severe that children learn, much like Pavlov's dogs, that it is not safe for their self esteem, to do anything sexual with anybody. If fact, if you were to ask a child about sex, s/he will almost certainly say something like, "EWWW! That's nasty. Sex is gross.", all the while giggling and blushing like crazy. What they say and what they think are often two different things.

But, if given the chance, AND they believe they will not be caught, AND they trust the other person to both safe and be fair (When I was a kid, I used to worry that I would "show" and the girl would chicken out), then they find engaging in age appropriate sexuality fascinating, fun, and a great adventure.

28 - Who has never had the experience playing with a child in this manner, and, due to the severe legal consequences for himself, as well as the emotional abuse which would be heaped upon the child if caught, never will.