I know it all to well

"I began to experience an unfamiliar anger over the control each wielded over her day-to-day walk through her young world-a world over which she held so little day-to-day say."

I recall that very well with Beatrice. Bea's "tiger mother" had forbidden her to date until, presumably, she was in post-grad-school. So me and my teen queen saw each other in secret. As far as they knew I was just a friend from school: never mind that mine was junior-college and hers was 1st year of High School.

But because they didn't know that we'd made plans, our plans were often hijacked by her 'rents taking the family somewhere. And Beatrice couldn't protest that she'd planned on a movie and a cuddle with her BF.

This was back in the era of landline supremacy. So I was usually waiting at our rendezvous for 30 minutes past the start of our "date" before I realized I'd been stood-up by her folks commandeering her life. Tearfelt phone convos occurred as soon as she was back. But it took its toll emotionally on us both.

Unfortunately it also fueled the fans of Limerance. Bea wasn't "playing" hard to get: she was hard to get through no fault of her own. But I started getting as antsy as a lab-rat whose lever-pressing produces nummies at completely random intervals. I can't say that I didn't soar the heights of dizzying love for my high-school sweetheart. But they were a function of the lows on the emotional roller-coaster created by her lack of autonomy.

Eventually, for the sake of my sanity, I had to break up with the girl I loved the most. I've met others since, but none like Beatrice. And we remain friends, which has taught me all the more, that my first love really was the one who I should've stuck with: but for the agony caused by her living a life which wasn't hers to determine.

For her part, the whole "tiger mother" trauma was such that she doesn't remember much of it 20 years plus later. We're still friends. But I remember her early teens better than she does.

I wish you luck. And may the horrible to-and-fro prove more infrequent in your lives than it was in mine.

Dante