An overdue, sad, GM

I need to regress to one miserable heart soaked day earlier this week. The day elludes me momentarily. Wednesday afternoon? I was just walking in the back door of my home, with my leather well bitten key strap dangling from clenched teeth, when I quickly set the grocery bags thumps-a-clump down on the dryer by the garage entry and zipped to answer the kitchen phone. My rain drenched hair cascading across my eyes and fighting my long eyelashes caused me to fumble and drop the phone as I tucked my keys into my rain jacket pocket. It was raining Rippers and Cat headed Cerberuses from Hades outside-in a sudden near blinding downpour that all drivers fear.

Yes, Im one of those unfortunates who can navigate the girls uneven gymnast bars but I cant chew gum and drive straight in the rain too. Hurray, all of my ditzy thoughts cleared as I heard Kirstens singular voice. So youthful and so sweetly mellifluous, it literally is a living simile to ear candy-to my ears anyway. I hope Im not getting you at a bad time, am I Ems. She politely queried. You sound winded. Im calling from home. I just dripped through the doorway. Im soaked. The entryway is soaked. She laughed as she shared minute details of her miserable walk home from the bus stop.

The words Poor precious babe! somehow slipped off my indiscreet tongue. Get out of those wet clothes, I insisted in my best big sistering voice; then go blow dry your hair and call me back when youve rested and warmed up. Put some tea on, Kirsy-my new nickname for Kirsten. You do have tea?, I inquired. Then added, I could steep a pot and bring it by when your more comfortable. I pictured her in a long robe-sipping tea with legs tucked under her as we talked about her day. She always made Junior High classes and breaktime sound more interesting than I recollected the mundane routine.

Kirsten insisted shed manage; but, added quickly. I have bad news to share, Ems. Was her voice trembling? Yes! I feel so down. Funny thing is, I should be happy. My Daddy called. He and Mom have arranged for me to spend the whole summer back home-with daddy. Please c..c.. come over. Come now!. Her voice stammered in a plea for company. No probs, I reassured her. Ill be right there, Kirsy. I just got home too, dear. My raincoat hasnt dried. Im wringing wet. I explained with a forced short laugh. Im hanging up now. I'm on my way!, I repeated. And so I did as I heard her utter a final, Thanks, Ems, and, turning on wet squishy-gooey feeling sneakers, I hurried dismayed, toward the same doorway I had only just entered minutes earlier-if that.

As I walked down the drive and around the front of her home to its side entry in the rear, I noticed for a sec only that I did so in a more gentle rain than I had driven home in. I felt illgrowing, suddenly, more saddened than frightened for my young friend as the full import of her words cut into my gut which cringed in sudden fear behind my navel and took the usual happy warm feeling from my heart. Chilled by the selfish idea of losing her from a summer of well-planned fun, which we had each firmly fixated on and discussed in well orchestrated details since our first Bohemian celebration of the fast approaching vacation, I felt so powerless. It was true I did not want to be parted from her far too infrequent company. It was more the sound of pain I heard in her voice that steered my visions to her loss. It was not as if she would be returning home to her old room where she could pajama party with friends she had grown up with. Her mother and dad had sold that home of happy memories once shared in common; and, each moved away to go their separate ways to new cities and new employment.

Though I customarily felt only gratitude for the love Kirstens Father showered on his daughter-though his marriage had ended and mom was dating, I began to experience an unfamiliar anger over the control each wielded over her day-to-day walk through her young world-a world over which she held so little day-to-day say. Although I have felt this anger for a world of youths disenfranchised throughout every society, this was too close to home to turn the other cheek. The moment was simply painfully frustrating.

There was absolutely NO fairplay in arranging to rip Kirsten from her new friendships and spirit her to a corner where daddy, and daddy's family, would be the central focus of her every summertime activity-when she wasnt left to entertain herself in an electronic world. Daddy worked a long day and a full week. He'd continue to work long hours in his towering corner office as a world of lost summertime opportunities taunted the warm breezes that indifferently passed in and out and by the open windows of her shut in existence in an empty home. My fists clenched and I bit my lip.
So much more to write-to share. Must collect my feelings. How much of this would she want me to share while crying on my community's shoulders?

Saddened, Shξξpy