"Norms are definitely intended to be imperatives in our society"

I think your opinion is influenced by your personal circumstances, and the fact that in our society the norms that do not fit you are indeed considered imperative. On the whole, however, I would argue that the United States has fewer such imperatives than almost any society in the world, and especially less than non-western cultures. This may be difficult to recognize at times, however, precisely because our culture places such a high value on the right to violate norms that even relatively mild restrictions (compared to most cultures) seem extreme to us.

"I think we should have been asking the question of choice more than we did. Or made that point central, based on everything you mentioned. But I didn't see that being asked, and was instead confronted with qtns jumping giddily for joy without asking a single, solitary question, and that, quite frankly, pissed me off."

I certainly see your point here, but I think the answer is simply that qtns and myself know enough about these cultures to know that such marriages are both very rare at the lower end of the range and typically consented to by the girls involved. The fact that you presumed otherwise says a lot about the narrative pushed by western media and just how strong it is: first that women in Islamic cultures are seldom given any choice, and second that no one under the age of 18 has an opinion worth listening to on whether they consented, and third that every child marriage must therefore be against the will of the child.

Thus, for qtns and myself consent was presumed as the norm and we were happy to see recognition of a girl's right to choose for herself, while you presumed non-consent.




Baldur