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Daddy Issues

Posted by rainbowloom on Saturday, April 28 2018 at 10:11:20PM
In reply to You're too charitable. posted by jd420 on Friday, April 27 2018 at 6:24:20PM

My niece first called me "Daddy" at age 6.

Her father was notoriously extremely possessive and controlling.

At age 8 she had suicidal thoughts.

By age 10 she was trying to initiate a sexual relationship with me.

I know for sure I was a positive actor in her scenario. As is typically the case in romantic relationships, we seemed to sense out each other's unmet needs and find ways to meet them intuitively.

Anyway, there was something about my niece's relationship with her father (non-biological, by the way) that always put me on edge, for some reason I honestly couldn't put my finger on it.

My brother was a misogynistic, domineering dick. That much is certain.

In fact, my essentially direct opposition to her father was implicitly present as a thematic element in our relationship from the very start.

And, at least from a quick glance, this was the case with every girl I was ever romantically involved with, right back to my early teenage years.

Instead of "pedo", how about "daddy"?

Since I came out to her parents, they have separated. My brother now lives in an apartment on his own.

I wonder if he'll treat her better now, when he's allowed to visit.

I secretly wonder if there's a lot more I don't know. Ironically, if anyone in her life had to be suspected of sexual abuse... it should not be me, but him. I wouldn't dare make an accusation, and his parenting style is in itself enough that she's probably better off minus his smothering... but to be truthfully, 100% honest: it wouldn't be quite as surprising to me as I imagine that it might be to everyone else if I were someday to discover the worst.

Either way, call it callous, but I count the separation of her parents among her wins at this point (and by association, mine).

I found out recently that her mother hits her when she's stressed. The same visit, I learned that my brother would no longer have sex with her.

Broken nuclear family dynamics are interesting.

~ Rbl

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