No one can rule out bad consequences in advance, so engaging in something that is likely to have bad consequences for the child is something society is right to prohibit.

But these types of feelings are SO important and are SUCH personal decisions, we can not make that universal judgment. We sure ought to pay close attention and take any possible negative consequences presented by the specific situation seriously, but again those are far enough away from being universal that the universal judgment is wrong enough in enough cases that we shouldn't be making it.

My niece and I being separated and her being left ignorant about it represents a very cruel disregard for the both the child and the adult in question and is an example of how making that universal judgment based on stereotyped assumptions and seeing it most conveniently for those who do the judging (typically not legal judges but just moralistic bystanders) rather than "worthy of careful attention" hurts way more people than it helps in ways that are subtle as well as explicit.

~ R b l