"dude, you get aroused off the nude form of children in sexual acts... just accept yourself for who you are"

It might be nice for us as a group if decent pedophiles were more apparent on the web, but what about the individual? If he's confident he's never going to act on the attraction, what's the advantage to him of tagging himself with the label "pedophile". To the extent he accepts it, he's either got to keep a secret or else risk enormous hatred and prejudice.

These same people find the pro-contact position impossible because they have bought into the BS that kids aren't sexual and don't actually enjoy sexual contact.

They might have other reasons to oppose the pro-contact position. They might recognize iatrogenic harm, not be inclined to activism, and estimate that for them the situation will not change. They might think that females in particular tend to feel very distressed when they later perceive that they have engaged in sexual activity under false pretenses, and they may recognize that the younger the girl, the more likely the situation is to be perceived that way. That's not an exhaustive list.