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scary

Posted by Sophia on 2006-August-19 05:42:12 EDT, Saturday
In reply to When a girl knows you like her? posted by Enigma on 2006-August-18 12:30:39 EDT, Friday
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it's mostly a very scary experience. even if you hoped for it yourself. I remember getting drunk one time with the grown-ups (I was staying at a friends of my mothers then), it was my first time drunk. I was 10. I remember one of the guys, a friend of my mom's friend, started flirting with me at one point. even though I thought it was cool at first, I felt very uneasy as time went on and he got more drunk. he was really making eyes at me, and all of a sudden I felt a little sick inside. I don't remember what I thought anymore, it's too long ago. all I remember was that all of sudden I didn't feel save and happy anymore and I just wanted to leave. when I went to bed I put something in front of the door. the next day I felt really dirty. not only because of the alcohol but also because I somehow felt that I had crossed a line, somehow. I can't explain. I was very confused.

but later, when my mom got a new boyfriend, it was very different. he was very reluctant to see me as a growing woman. while I did every thing to get his attention. I thought he was super cute. I remember actually dressing up in cute nightgowns and going downstairs in them when we were alone. nothing happened ofcourse, but I liked that he was so reluctant, you see. it made me feel save, still attracted. I knew he found me attractive, but I also knew he would never actually do anything. that was a good feeling. later on I just saw him as a good friend and a bit of a father figure. we went partying together when I was sixteen, took drugs and just laughed. twas really cool. I'm happy nothing sexual ever happend between us. the tension was good enough.

Sophia

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