Resolution?

"I am no psychologist but it seems to me that the complexities of this case make it unwise to have such a relationship until at least both parties have come to terms with and resolved their abuse and then a relationship might be formed without any baggage."

I'm sorry. Didn't you know that the trauma narrative requires that the event never go away? In fact, it begins again with ( what was that word? ) retraumatizing events.

Again, the real trauma model doesn't allow for such nonsense. And post-traumatic stress is NOT the same as a reoccurrence of a traumatizing event. Which, as Susan Clancy has pointed out, most so-called child sexual abuse IS NOT.

But never mind that pop-clinicians and LEOs cannot get the concepts straight or consistent.

In ye olde days, such a child was considered "tainted" by ill-use. Now they're "scarred for life." Its the same mystic hokum tied up in a new bag.

It seems to me that "We had sex once when we'd had a few drinks, which was good ... She clearly enjoyed herself and has asked if I'd like to do it again. I'd like to..." is enough information to say that there are too many positives associated with the real present event.

Whereas, "It brought back childhood memories ... I want to be clear-headed without disturbing memories. Are we (as sexual partners) doomed?" smacks of both the "scarred for life" hyperbole and elements of recalling narratives which society imposes on them.

What would you say if it read as; "Is it possible for me to enjoy a normal sexual relationship with a friend of mine? We're both in our early 20s and as children were caught in flagrante together by her dad ( a Minister.) This has made me very guilt-ridden about sex whereas she is more sexually confident. We had sex once when we'd had a few drinks, which was good but I felt very ashamed around her being so physically close. It brought back childhood memories. She clearly enjoyed herself and has asked if I'd like to do it again. I'd like to, but I want to be clear-headed without disturbing memories. Are we (as sexual partners) damned?"

And yes, just like "damned," "scarred for life" is a good method for ensuring that your client never stops tithing.

Dante