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How To Make Parents Accept You?

Posted by LostKari on 2006-January-25 00:01:31 EST, Wednesday
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This is both a question and and answer to the question. I have a couple opinions on ways to help a parent not freak out over you giving their little girl so much attention, but I'd also like to know what all the rest of you have found (or think) to help as well. This is written from the perspective of a male, because I think women GLs have a lot less problem with the stigma men have the moment they smile at an LG.

1) Don't be pushy. Don't go so far out of your way that it looks like you're making a major effort to be close to the child. Some effort is ok, it shows you care. But trying to get the girl to invite you over for dinner the first time or two you meet her might seem a little too pushy. Don't look like a desperate stalker dying to be with the girl (be with as in her presense :-p)

2) Have someone back you up. It's amazing how it can put someone at ease when they see you giving attention to their little girl, and they see that other people don't mind or think it weird. And even better, if you have a female friend or a family member of yours that also gives attention to the girl, or at the very least says, "So and so is really great with kids." So and so being you of course. It's incredible how fast that turns thoughts of, "He's too nice to her. He must be a predator." into "He's so nice to her. What a great guy."

3) Have another child with you. If you have a son or daughter near the same age as the child, or even another relative or friend, that can really help break the ice. Not only will the parents see that you're trusted with this other child, but that you're good with him/her too and it's not just special treatment of their own kid. BTW... The pet thing works great on the kiddies, but often times will backfire on the parents. There's too many stories of creeps using animals to get at children. The chances of the pet idea being used to relax a parent isn't likely to work all that often. Though I could be wrong here.

4) Be courtious and respobsible. Don't lead the child to do dangerous or "bad" things. For instance, don't play helicopter (or whatever you call it when you hold the girl's hands and twirl around and around) a short time after meeting her. It's a little scary for a parent because they don't know if you'll accidentally let her go or pull an arm out of its socket. An example of a great thing to do is if you're walking on a rocky and slippery beach, to hold the girl's hand to make sure she doesn't slip and hurt herself. You can do this in a way where it obviously looks like you're making sure she doesn't fall. And if the girl gets hurt (bumps her head, scrapes her knee, or any other tearful little injury) be kind and compasionate but not over bearing when you comfort her. And if it's more than just a slight sniffle-causing injury, by all means take her to her parents. The key to all this is not to look like you're trying to distance yourself and the girl from the parent or the parent's rules. Parents are very protective of their children, and the last thing they want is another adult coming in and usurping them.

5) Befriend the parents. If all you do is pay attention to the child, the parents don't get to know you much at all. All they get to know is what they see and what their mind tells them, which might not be a good thing for you. Introduce yourself to them as early as possible. Be friendly (of course) and interested in them. Through talking, let them know that you're a real person with a life and friends, and not some pedophile jumping in out of nowhere to steal away their baby. This can make the girl you've befriended quite jealous, because she'll likely want every second of your attention. But it will do wonders for making the parents comfortable with you. But once again, don't look pushy. If you're getting the vibe that they don't want to talk, then don't talk. Wait for a good opportunity come up.

That's all I can think of right now. These are things I've found to be true in my fairly short life so far. But as I get older (I'm still only 22, but that's a full big 10 years on even the oldest girls I'd fall for) it becomes more and more important to put parents at ease. Otherwise all they'll see is an unknown man with their daughter. And the imagination feuled by the media can end up in a, "Stay away from my daughter you perv!" response in record time.

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