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Re: My take on this

Posted by Dante on 2012-July-17 18:33:14 EDT, Tuesday
In reply to Re: My take on this posted by lee lette on 2012-July-17 10:02:20 EDT, Tuesday

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"Why do you presume that children would never be interested in pursuing their sexuality with adults if it were not for such societal condemnation?"

"I don't presume they would not since I believe that children often do try to initiate such contact but it is not in their interest that an adult acquiesces. The child is mainly in no position to know the full consequences of their actions and like many other areas adults have a position of responsibility of care towards them which includes not initiating actions that might result in harm at some later stage. Children are always trying to push boundaries - that is in their nature as they mature but it for their welfare that we control these desires appropriately without simply giving in and seeing it as 'what they wanted.' "

There is no area of human growth in which the person who desires to develop has the knowledge ( at ANY stage ) which comes with experience and practice. Its a given that you learn as you go, and you learn by doing.

Nor is it the case that growth is an on/off-switch; its a process which never ends.

Sexuality is the sole exception governed by magical thinking. Its the one associated with an arbitrary natal anniversary, before which practice is never allowed and after which mastery is presumed.

If we compare across cultures I believe we find little risk in normal development with allowing sex-play along with all other forms of play. And there are stronger sources of harm associated with the practice of driving skills, hunting skills ( presuming we aren't in a culture where hunting is a "sport" rather than a necessity, ) and athletic skills.

And yet, despite the number of accidental deaths, we don't treat swimming or driving as something which cannot be practiced below a magic arbitrary age. Nor do we leave the training to peers who also have not been allowed to practice. ( "I think you pull the clutch before you take off the brake? At least that's what Bobby told Suzie." )

Further, unlike many other skills which have a right way and a wrong way, sex is ( when not done purely for procreation ) a form of affection and play. All mammals are more playful in their childhood. And in all cases this is necessary for rehearsing the skills they need as adults. By deferring childhood sex-play until well into biological adulthood, we place it past the period where the student can gain the most benefit from practice. And in doing so we create stunted joyless adults who obsess with what they were denied back when it was natural and normal.

All the fetishization of sexual characteristics and their deflected usage in advertisements and elsewhere may stem from not allowing a sexual context for exploring things sexual when the interest is there.

Dante

Dante


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