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HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Innocence on 2003-July-06 14:14:24 EDT, Sunday
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Ooooh,maaaaan,have I screwed up and complicated my life, or what!As many other people here (I suppose) I am fond of lgs,but also like teenage girls of all ages...I'm also married for those who didn't know that.As part of my job,I went to a camp I organized and have just returned from there.There were nothing but teenagers there and I was the one in charge (the ONLY one).BTW,I'm not in America so what I'm writing is 100% legal (I mean my being alone with those youths,etc... / the "etc" is more important here).

I'm so depressed now because I 've become involved with an 18 yo girl there,and I'm totally confused!!! I love my wife,I really do, but we were all a bit drunk there and I just lost control on Wednesday ,and started fooling around with this girl.We talked about things on Saturday,and agreed that we needed to clarify what happened between us.THE PROBLEM is that neither of us seems to consider what occured as being a mistake we can forget about! Even after I (we) sobered up,the feelings were still there.WORSE EVEN: after we talked about it all,we all had a party to celebrate the last evening at the camp,and we started dancing,she and I. Then,it began raining outside.The song "St Anger" by Metallica was played.I just love the vocal lines in that song. The girl took me by the hand and pulled me to the terrace.She started to hug me and we danced IN THE RAIN to the tunes of that song (though the song is aggressive,it's beautiful to "dance" to).As we held each other and danced,she was laughing and kept looking at the sky,enjoying the rain! It was such an intense feeling,thanks to the craziness of dancing in rain (I was naked from the waist up) and the strength of the sensation that the music gave me!What I have with this girl is something I haven't had for a long time!!! Let me mention that many people who were there know my wife,and it seems that we were SEEN fooling around,though we've both denied it (or at least ,I have).So being home and looking my wife in the eyes,not knowing whether I want to end that "affair",is really soulraping!I feel sooo guilty but I think I want to see that girl again...My wife and I have everything I could want in a relationship,except for ONE thing:the heat of utter passion,like the one I experienced this week!!! Another detail that might interest a few people: my wife is a cm taller than I am,and her bodily "construction" is quite BIG for a woman(bigger than mine!),though she has a baby-face.This new girl is about 20 cms shorter, and smaller than I am,has small feet (my weak spot)and her passion ENFLAMED me!!!!!!!! Maybe I'm a jerk,but I can't help these feelings...
What am I to do??? I feel so helpless and lost!!!!!! The last thing I want is to lose EVERYTHING, by reaching for two conflicting objects!!! Please,SOMEONE,ANYONE,HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I DON'T WANT TO SELF-DESTRUCT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Innocence

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